Twixtmas win for Kylies

27 December 1998, Division Five at Nationwide

Nationwide 1 v KMLC FC 3

If there was any Christmas over-indulgence from the Kylie squad there was no sign of it as the team stretched their unbeaten run to four matches.

Goal from Hobbs and Coxy (a second of the season for last year's Golden Boot) just before the break and Scholesy (who also picked up MVP) in the second half got the job done.


Humphries
Winters, Adams, Gould, Gunning
Hobbs, Smedley, S.Payne, Goldsworthy
Watling, Cox
Sub: Cook for Smedley

Goals: Cox (40), Hobbs (43), S.Payne (70)


MVP: S.Payne
Spoons: Gunning


Next match - 31 January 1999. Happy New Year!

Police stalemate

20 December 1998, Division 5

Swindon Police 1 KMLC FC 1

The Kylies secured their first league win of the season against this opposition in the reverse fixture in October but were unable to do the double. Still, at least the unbeaten run stretches to three!

There was a rare unchanged starting eleven to see Gary made it a hat-trick of MVPs and Watty continued his scoring form with our only goal. That's 10 goals in 11 games for him now, only failing to score in two of his appearances.


Humphries
Winters, Adams, Gould, Gunning
G.Payne, Hales, S,Payne, Cox
Watling, Rees
Subs: Smedley for Cox, Cook for Gunning, Goldsworthy

Goal: Watling (3)


MVP: G.Payne
Spoons: Goldsworthy


Next match - 27 December v Nationwide

Electric performance shuts off Power

6 December 1998, Division 5

NP Electric 2 KMLC FC 4

It was back-to-back wins for the second time this season with victory at NP Electric.

The goals were spread around the team this time, with Winters plus the more attacking players in Watling, Rees and Cox all getting one each.

Gary made it back-to-back MVPs while the Spoons was shared across the same goalscoring front three. Did they have a combined 'mare? Or were they all individually guilty f some Spoons-winning moment? I guess we'll never know.


Humphries
Winters, Adams, Gould, Gunning
G.Payne, Hales, S.Payne, Cox
Watling, Rees
Subs: Smedley for Hales, Goldsworthy

Goals: Watling (31), Winters (35), Cox (70), Rees (85)


MVP: G.Payne
Spoons: Watling, Rees


Next match - 20 December v Swindon Police

Kylies plough through Badbury

29 November 1998, Division 5

KMLC FC 5 Plough Badbury 2

We might have trouble seeing off the Highworth Plough but we found Plough Badbury more to our liking. It was our biggest win since a 7-3 beating of The White House 53 weeks previously.

Payne (G) was back in midfield after a two game absence and took MVP. Must have been a heck of a performance as both Hales and Watling scored twice. Gunning got the other, his first in 20 months. Coxy was rivalling Rees for overall Spoons at this point, picking up another one from the bench.

(As a footnote - Plough Badbury dropped out of the league before the return fixture and we were awarded a 1-0 win.)

Lunt
Winters, Adams, Gould, Gunning
G.Payne, Hales, S.Payne, Hobbs
Watling, Merry
Subs: Smedley for S.Payne, Cox for Merry, Goldsworthy

Goals: Gunning (14), Hales (38, 61), Watling (40, 77)

MVP: G.Payne
Spoons: Cox


Next match - 6 December v NP Electric

Workbase take rare win over Kylies

22 November 1998, Division 5 at Moredon

Workbase Resources 3 KMLC FC 2

Looking to build on a league win in their last outing the Kylies slipped to defeat by the odd goal in five.

We hadn't been beaten by Workbase since the Division 7 days so this was a bit of a disappointment. With JP missing until February for reasons I can't remember, Big Al was in goal for his first appearance since last December.

Rees got the first Kylie goal on the stroke of half time while Garratt came off the bench to reduce the deficit to 3-2, knocking in from close range after the keeper spilled a Scholesy effort.

Garratt still had time to scuff a chance of an equaliser in injury time from a Rees flick-on (should have gone with moulded studs!) in his only appearance of the season thanks to M.E.


Lunt
Winters, Carpenter, Gould, Cook
Smedley, Hales, S.Payne, Merry
Cox, Rees
Subs: Hobbs for Cook, Adams for Carpenter, Garratt for Cox

Goals: Rees (45), Garratt (86)


MVP: Hobbs
Spoons: Hales


Next match - 29 November v Plough Badbury

Love's Labour Lost for Mike

15 November 1998, Chairman's Trophy at Mannington

KMLC FC 1 Motorola 5

The headline of this post was the one used in the Swindon Advertiser to round up the week's matches. I'm not making it up - look, here's a photo!

Swindon Advertiser headline

It refers to the fact that Coxy opened the scoring in this game after 12 seconds - which was as good as it got as we sank to defeat.

The game saw a return for Gunning after more than a season out (due to a knee op?) and an MVP for Winters. I don't seem to have a record for Spoons though - it could be that someone (Garratt?) won without even being in the squad.


Powell
Winters, Goldsworthy, Gunning, Cook
Merry, Hales, S.Payne, Cox
Watling, Rees
Subs: Carpenter for S.Payne, Smedley for Gunning, Hobbs for Goldsworthy

Goal: Cox (1)

MVP: Winters
Spoons: Garratt?


Next match - 22 November v Workbase Resources

SW edge out Kylies in Wilts Cup

8 November 1998, Wilts Cup

KMLC FC 1 SW Transport 2 (after extra time)

My memory can play tricks but I have this feeling that SW Transport were a much higher standard* so a 2-1 defeat was filed under acceptable. I could be wrong.

Goalkeeper Powell was MVP which suggests he had a good game while we were under the cosh a bit. Rees came off the bench to win Spoons (was there any way he couldn't win Spoons?) and Watling scored for the sixth game in a row which I believe is a club record.


Powell
Winters, Goldsworthy, Gould, Cook
G.Payne, Hales, S.Payne, Cox
Watling, Merry
Subs: Smedley for G.Payne, Carpenter for S.Payne, Rees for Cox

Goal: Watling (90)

MVP: Powell
Spoons: Rees



Next match - 15 November v Motorola (Chairman's Trophy)

*Editor's note - since initial publication I have found that they were a Division 2 side. Also, the game went into extra time courtesy of a last-minute goal.

Two wins in a row!

18 October 1998, Division 5 (at Mannington?)

KMLC FC 3 Swindon Police 1

There was only one change from last week's win in the Chairman's Trophy and it paid dividends with a league win after a 16-game run without one.

That only change was up front with Cox replacing Rees and winning Spoons into the bargain. It's what Richie would have wanted!

Hales must have orchestrated the midfield as he was MVP and there were goals for Payne S., Watling and Phil 'Dollar' Ausden making his first appearance from the bench. He'd become more of a feature in the team later in the season.

Powell
Adams, Goldsworthy, Gould, Cook
G.Payne, Hales, S.Payne, Smedley
Watling, Cox
Subs: Merry for Goldsworthy, Ausden for Cox

Goals: S.Payne (30), Ausden (55), Watling (85)

MVP: Hales
Spoons: Cox


Next match - 8 November v SW Transport (Wilts Cup)

Kylies win!

11 October, Chairman's Trophy

KMLC FC 3 Village Leisure 2

After ten months without a victory of any sort the Kylies finally got on the right side of a result - and in a Cup match too!

Gould swapped roles with Gary Payne and played in the back four, earning MVP in the process.  Goals from Steven Payne, Smedley and Watling (who also took Spoons) were enough to take the team into a next round of a knockout tournament for only the second time.


Powell
Adams, Goldsworthy, Gould, Cook
G.Payne, Hales, S.Payne, Smedley
Watling, Rees
Subs: Winters for Adams, Cox for Smedley

Goals: Smedley (34), S.Payne (53), Watling (70)


MVP: Gould
Spoons: Watling


Next match - 18 October v Swindon Police

Lamb fleece Kylies again

4 October 1998, Division Five at Marlborough

The Lamb Marlborough 3 KMLC FC 1

The Kylies had a long rivalry with Akers Garage (we tussled at the top with them in the early seasons) and shorter ones with Highworth Plough (many of them were known to some of the team) and The Lamb Marlborough.

This rivalry was mainly down to the fact we couldn't understand how we couldn't beat them at their place. It wasn't a very wide pitch with the corner flags seemingly a couple of yards from the edge of the penalty area - did it stop us playing our expansive brand of football?

Here's another example. Watling got our goal and was one of a triple MVP selection with Goldsworthy and G.Payne. Were they the only players who weren't terrible or did we all play well and were unlucky who knows? Rees got his second straight Spoons so something was familiar about the way we played!


Powell
Adams, Goldsworthy, G.Payne, Cook
Gould, Hales, S.Payne, Carpenter
Watling, Rees
Subs: Cox for Rees, Smedley for Hales, Merry for S.Payne

Goal: Watling (26)


MVP: Goldsworthy, G.Payne, Watling
Spoons: Rees



Next match - 11 October v Village Leisure

Kylies derailed by Ghost Train

27 September, Division Five (at Mannington?)

KMLC FC 2 Ghost Train 8

After last week's improved performance in a 3-3 draw the Kylies racjked up another disappointing defeat.

The team saw a couple of changes from last week. Cook was replaced by Harries in defence while the midfield was also depleted by the loss of Merry and Smedley. That meant starts for Payne S., Hobbs and Cox. There was also a debut from the bench for Hales who became an important part of the club from this season.

Not sure if Humphries picked up an injury during or after this one as he doesn't return to the side until December. Carpo tells me his goal was a consolation (a sweet right foot effort according to Powell) - but clearly not much of one in a defeat this heavy!


Humphries
Adams, Carpenter, G.Payne, Harries
Gould, Hobbs, S.Payne, Cox
Watling, Rees
Subs: Winters for Cox, Goldsworthy for S.Payne, Hales for Hobbs

Goals: Carpenter (60), Watling (70)

MVP: Watling
Spoons: Rees


Next match - 4 October v The Lamb

Kylies share a six-pack with Highworth Plough

13 September 1998, Division Five at Warneford School

Highworth Plough 3 KMLC FC 3

The first league game of the season didn't snap the Kylies' winless streak but at least it wasn't a defeat.

Cook, Watling and 'Scholesy' (from the bench) got the second-half goals that shared the points with our (kind of) friendly rivals and one of the stopping points on the fabled Highworth Ten.

There was an MVP for Adams while Scholesy added Spoons to his goal.


Humphries
Adams, Carpenter, G.Payne, Cook
Gould, Harries, Merry, Smedley
Watling, Rees
Subs: S.Payne for Harries, Goldsworthy for Smedley, Hobbs for Carpenter

Goals: Watling (56), S.Payne (69), Cook (71)

MVP: Adams
Spoons: S.Payne


Next match - 27 September v Ghost Train

Deer's are a Leap too far in Knockout Cup

6 September 1998, Knockout Cup

KMLC FC 0 Deer's Leap 6

Records show us in a different kit colour this season. The classic racing green and black stripes being replaced with red and blue shirts, blue shirts and socks. It might have happened last season - can't remember to be honest.

After missing last year's Cup competitions (looking back, late registration might have been the reason) the Kylies were back in their traditional 'getting knocked out at the first attempt' form.

Following on from their poor 97/98 campaign a whole raft of new players lined up. Adams, Steven Payne ('Scholesy'), Winters and the latest new keeper Andy 'The Falcon'* Humphries all made debuts.

Deer's Leap were a Division 1 side and one of the top Sunday clubs at the time so I can't imagine we were too disappointed or surprised at a 6-0 defeat. Humphries celebrated his first game with a shared Spoons award with MVP Gary Payne.


Humphries
Adams, Carpenter, Harries, Cook
G.Payne, Smedley, S.Payne, Rees
Watling, Merry
Subs: Winters for Harries, Goldsworthy for Smedley, Hobbs for Adams

MVP: G.Payne
Spoons: G.Payne, Humphries


*He wasn't like a Falcon, he spent a lot of time in The Falcon


Next match - 13 Sep v Highworth Plough

1998/99 - Editor's note

The match records get a bit sketchier from here!

Some venues are missing and I need to interpret my handwriting to see what some of my notes might mean.

I'll do my best!

KMLC 25 - Stu's 1993 Statistical Report

During '93 THE KYLIES manages to maintain a high quota of fixtures as in previous seasons. The win column reported its lowest totals since 1990 when only 19 games were played compared to this year's total of 32. Although not as successful as previous years, THE KYLIES managed to keep the tradition of not drawing many games, believing in a result either way. From the end of 1992 back to THE KYLIES birth in the summer of 1990, the number of defeats, spanning some 86 games, totalled a very respectable 10.

1993 saw a total of 11 defeats in 32 games. The goals for column read handsomely, totalling 271 goals, producing an average of 8.47 per game. Unfortunately our problems this year stemmed from our ability to conceded a far greater amount of goals than previous seasons. This season's total of 215 was 70 greater than 1992's previous high when 4 more games were played!

Let's hope we can continue our proud record of winning the majority of our games and most of all enjoy the taking part.

THE KYLIE SHIRT has always brought with it laughter and tears, heartache and joy, and people still get a shiver down the spine when they hear pf KYLIE MINOGUE'S LOVE CHILDREN. There are always loads of teams anxious to compete against us and I hope that with your help we can fulfil the needs of other teams and help them, as well as ourselves, enjoy our football.

THE KYLIES LIVE ON!

KMLC25 - 1993 Stats

PLAYED	WON	DRAWN	LOST	GOALS FOR	GOALS AGST
32	17	4	11	271	215
PLAYER		APPEARANCES		GOALS
PAUL GARRATT		27		6
BRIAN WOOLFORD		21		15
MATTHEW WARR		17		6
BEN WARR		18		21
IAN MERRY		9		8
KEVIN KIBBLE		22		41
STUART GOULD		27		79
KEVIN GUNNING		20		4
SCOTT CARPENTER		23		52
RICHARD UNWIN		5		14
DEAN SCOURFIELD		2		2
SIMON SWATRIDGE		3		6
WAYNE FARQUHAR		1		2
DAVID ROSE		1		0
CHRIS HOWELL		1		0
MARK SHARP		3		0
PETER EPPS		1		0
SIMON HANCOCK		1		0
ALAN PERVIS		1		1
GARY DONNELLY		1		3
MARK PETERS		1		4
JOHN GRAINGER		2		3
NEIL SHURMER		2		0
IAN RAINBOW		1		1
SIMON HAINES		1		0
CHRIS SMEDLEY		1		0
OWN GOALS				3

KMLC25 - Stu's 1993 Season Review

The season saw a certain amount of APATHY, Players weren't able to play for various reasons.

Circumstances certainly played a big part in this. KIBBLE and WOOLFORD needed recovery time and wouldn't be available every week. MATTHEW moved away and can't be expected to return each week. BEN still has shift work commitments which prevent his participation 2 out of every 4 weeks. GUNNING has acting and family commitments. CARPENTER and GOULD play Sunday mornings and are always vulnerable to suffering the after effects on a Monday.

THE ALEHOUSE team has struggled also with players being committed to other clubs on a Sunday morning.

There has been talk of making the games every other week and sometimes changing the Monday night fixture to another night. I'm all for this and hope to see evryone keen as mustard to continue to pull on a KYLIE SHIRT and wear it with pride in '94.

KMLC25 - Famous Alehouse friendlies (part three)

Editor's note - this game would have taken place in October or November but slotting it in here for continuity as much as anything.

When? Sunday morning.
Where? King Edwards Stud, Wanborough.
Who? NATIONAL POWER RESERVES.

Nightmare start. Kick off time emerges and only 8 players ready for combat. We eventually emerge 15 mins late with 10 men. Down by one man THE ALEHOUSE revelled in the damp conditions and took the game to THE POWER.

The WARR brothers were dominant in defence with MATTHEW taking care of things both in the air and on the deckand BEN scampering around on the cover. BEN also rode his luck during his valiant attacking sprees up the right flank. Mind you, he took an eternity to return to his defensive duties once forward. Partnering MATTHEW in the heart of defence was new boy NEIL SHURMER. Together they fought, scrambled, bobbed, weaved, ducked, chased, tussled and thwarted most of what THE POWER threw at them.

Who was it playing in the unfamiliar role of left-back? Jeepers! It's Little KEV. He is certainly stout enough to be a rugged defender but openly admits his pace is lacking when confronted by a nimble winger.

AS luck would have it THE POWER did possess a nimble winger in the shape of JARED PROTHERO (POSSE MEMBER). It was his pace that produced the first goal of the game. The ball was chipped into the open space behind LITTLE KEV and was quickly seized upon by the impressive PROTHERO. Two touches later the ball was nestled in the back of the net having been rifled past GARRATT's despairing dive.

Positive attitude still intact THE ALEHOUSE ventured forward looking for a deserved equaliser. Iy nearly came in the shape of a netbuster from GOULD.
KIBBLE and GOULD linked well down the left flankreleasing KIBBLE to attack the space behind the defence. On reaching the goal-line KIBBLE neatly pulled the ball back to the edge of the 18 yard box for GOULD to release a ferocious right foot drive into the crossbar only to see it rise handsomely skyward and safe.

Nearing half time IAN MERRY drew the teams level with a rare headed goal from a WARR free-kick. It was a neat header just inside the post and was a welcome result due to a lot of hard work.

During the game SMEDLEY was very prominent down the right flank and managed to provide a great number of crosses into the box. He was very unfortunate on a number of occasions when it came to shooting. Shots were half blocked but the pall seemed to run to a POWER player every time. His commitment was 110%.

SHARP and HAINES provided excellent support and were always willing to receive. SHARP, playing as our only striker, sprinted gamely, but wasn't really given a chance to provide a goal, always been asked to do a little too much. HAINES took on a defensive midfield role and proved to be a good battler breaking up a lot of POWER's play.

With HAINES sitting back this released GOULD into a more prominent attacking role. He could and should have scored a hat-trick, shooting over twice when well placed and scuffing possibly the easiest chance of the game into the arms of the keeper from 10 yards. He also squanderd good possessionbu shooting instead of passing to others in better positions. On one particular occasion GOULD fired high and wide whilst MERRY< SHARP and SMEDLEY waited patiently unmarked with only the goalie in front of them. D'OH! as HOMER SIMPSON would say.

The scoreline finished 3-1 to the POWER. On chances created THE ALEHOUSE could easily have been the victors themselves. Regardless, the ALEHOUSE players walked back to the changing rooms with their heads held high, feeling like winners. It was a great display.

MVP was awarded to all 10 players for their excellent displays and MR SPOONS was not appropriate, although GOULD would have few objections had he been thE recipient.

LET'S ALL LOOK FORWARD TO THE RETURN MATCH!

KMLC25 - Famous Alehouse friendlies (part two)

THE ALEHOUSE are in action again, this time taking on the Mighty FORWARD INDUSTRIES. It's tough! They haven't come for a picnic!

After 90 minutes of hard fought rough and tumble THE ALEHOUSE emerged the victors by 5-0. The goal count fell on the shoulders of GOULD,  MERRY,  KIBBLE, B.WARR and the hapless OG.

During the game WOOLFORD managed to pull virtually every muscle in his body as well as some in others around him. On a couple of occasions he was seen to retreat to the sidelines to take up THE HORIZONTAL POSITION.

All the players performed well and this was to be reflected later on in the pub.

Once in the Public House we proceeded to vote for MVP and MR SPOONS. GUNNING made it 2 out of 2 with another outstanding display and not to be out done as in the previous week MERRY took the MR SPOONS award with style and conviction, deservedly so. On receiving the award MERRY contemplated hanging up his boots and we seriously contemplated hanging him by his neck.

KMLC25 - Famous Alehouse friendlies (part one)

Sunday 18th July saw the debut of THE FAMOUS ALEHOUSE XI. Dorcan was the setting and DOLPHIN COMPUTERS were the opposition.

Kitted out and ready to go, 10:30 AM. The whistle blows. Football erupts. It takes half an hour for THE ALEHOUSE to settle into their game plan. The Dorcan pitch serves up a rich mixture of indifferent bounce and speed managing to deceive even the well seasoned players GOULD and GUNNING. With 30 minutes elapsed touch and vision begins to ooze from THE ALEHOUSE.

"BIG KEV'S BALL" resonates through the air scattering nearby flocks of birds and nearby defenders. It's a revelation that spawns our first goal from a corner. The DOLPHINS break down in the first half and it's GUNNING's goal that separates the teams at the interval.

The interval comes to the rescue of certain members of THE ALEHOUSE, namely WOOLFORD, to catch his breath and MERRY, to hold his head in his hands and wonder why one of the most gifted players on the park is playing so woefully. The second half offers rectification.

The restart sees THE ALEHOUSE step on the gas and take controlof the game. Neat passing and tireless running combine to allow goals to come from the boots of UNWIN 2, KIBBLE GOULD and thankfully MERRY who responded well to his half-time misery. Added to GUNNING's headed goal of the first half THE ALEHOUSE ran out 6-0 victors. Arch rival and regular villain DAVE ROSE did well to keep a clean sheet and also provide entertainment whilst attempting to take goal kicks.

With the opposition well beaten, hands shaken and thanks exchanged everybody discussed the remarkable similarities between CARPO, GOULD and THE DOLPHINS captain, MORGAN. (Couldn't see it myself!)

Sandwiches, chips and beer round off a brilliant morning for THE FAMOUS ALEHOUSE, frequenting their eponymous local. Whilst consuming the eatables the game is discussed and a verdict is arrived upon as to the recipient of the MOST VALUABLE PLAYER award. [MVP]
GUNNING takes the accolades, deservedly so, due to his Presents! (I received a watch..... very nice).

GOULD then suggests we have a MR SPOONS award for the most calamitous moment of the game. As with the MVP award everybody votes by means of the infamous scraps of paper. MERRY disappears under the table so as to avoid the inevitable but is saved by the antics of GARRATT. PEEJ won by a mile with his quick step shimmy attempt at a goal line clearance, resulting in himself finishing in the net like a floundering fish, only to see the ball roll harmlessly wide without the aid of his gallant effort.

KMLC25 - The 1993 small-sided season (part three)

The season's curtain closer was a CHRISTMAS SPECIAL against our favourite team, MERRYS CROWD.

The game was played in high spirits and not even the torrential rain could halt the good humour. They were the worst conditions of the year.

At one stage the pitch was a flood and players had to turn from the rain. THE KYLIES ran out winners 12-6 by virtue of being more duck like.

During the hour, KIBBLE found himslef drained of energy having given blood only hours before, allowing himself only 1 goal, WOOLFORD fought bravely against the elements and conceded 6 while acting as stand-in goalie, M.WARR received a nasty blow in the BO****KS and then couldn't find a safe haven to rub them better, UNWIN ran like a demon and lashed in 5 goals, GOULD languished with an old CARPENTER ailment, BAD GUTS, but still managed to score 3 goals and CARPENTER reached the magical 50 goals in a season with 3 more spawny efforts. A good end to the season.

After an hour of messing about in the water THE KYLIES left the steel surrounds to reflect on another year.

KMLC25 - The 1993 small-sided season (part two)

October saw The Humbling of THE KYLIES.

The Oasis witnessed a 16-2 drubbing at the hands of G.K. STONES. It was quite possibly the lowest point of THE KYLIES history. We were steamrollered into defeat at the hands of a very good side. All of them play at a high level of football along with KYLES GOULD and GUNNING. They were too smart, too strong, too fast and too good for us. With heads bowed THE KYLIES retreated to the safe haven of the showers to hold head in hands and weep miserable.

KMLC25 - The 1993 small-sided season (part one)

1993 - IN A WORD - INCONSISTENT

Three defeats and a draw saw THE KYLIES witness their worst ever syart to a season. We put it down to Christmas excess. Ironically, THE KYLIES first win came at the expense of one of our own players. CARPO represented THE HUTTON ALLSTARS so as to even up the numbers on each side. THE KYLIES won the game 8-4, but CARPO did all he could to inflict another defeat upon them including two very lucky deflected goals.

In March THE KYLIES met with THE TOP TABLE POSSE in a game billed as "THE DORCAN DESECRATION". It wasn't a pretty game and after lots of Blood and Thunder the scoreline read 2-2. A spirited performance from THE POSSE saw THE KYLIES cough and splutter at the start and go a goal down. Was this to be THE KYLIES first ever defeat at the hands of THE POSSE.
"NO" was the stern reply but by no means was this convincing.

The most memorable part pf this Carbuncle of a game was CARPOS two fingered salute waved in the direction of RICH TIMMS and DAVE ROSE acknowledging his timely and has to be said fortuitous equaliser. Football lost and both teams drew. Very poetic.

SIMON SWATRIDGE has become an enigma when wearing a KYLIE shirt. He managed to play three consecutive games in June and then promptly rediscovered his injury jinx and disappeared for the rest of the year. It's a crying shame that he does not don a KYLIE shirt more often as it's widely known that he is arguably the best striker ever to represent THE KYLIES and indeed ever to. Goalkeepers sleep easy at night at the moment.

KMLC25 - The Kylies Must Wait!

(Taken from the We Should Be So Lucky magazine and written by Stu)

On the 18th March 1993, THE KYLIES made a bold bid to enter the Swindon Sunday Football League. The relevant information was sent to the League Secretary and then it was a case of waiting.

With the backing of Ex Middlesbrough FC Pro* PAUL McPARLAND, Landlord of The Famous Alehouse, we put forward a reasonable case. Our application was rejected due to the lack of friendly games played prior to our application and the lack of places available. We were one of fifteen hopefuls looking for six places.

Since this refusal, I have spoken to Ivor Cottrell, The League's Fixture Secretary, and he has informed me that as long as we play a good amount of friendlies we stand a very good chance of getting into the League next year by virtue of being refused the season before.

With a little commitment from "EVERYBODY" I'm sure we could enjoy at least one season of League Football. As with the few games played already, it has been well supported and well enjoued by all involved.

Let's enjoy our games this season and hope for the best next year.

* Editor's Note - are we sure about this though?

1997/98 - Moving On

Four more players played their last game for the club...

Neil Summers

What a clubman! Would play wherever he was needed and gave his all. Across his four seasons he played 75 times (12 as sub) but only had one goal to his name. Would sometimes do a stint in goal too and sometimes would make flying one-handed saves when he wasn't, only to be sent off.
Eight times an MVP and nine times a Spoons winner kind of summed up his excellence and fallability. A rock on which the team was built.

Matthew Warr

The second of the Striker Cup seven to bow out.  Matthew was an important part of central defence in the early years and clocked up 66 appearances (eight as sub) and, like Neil, scored just the once. After just eight games in 96/97 Matthew bounced back with his most productive season, playing 18 times. Four times an MVP and seven Spoons wins, his elegance on the ball and in the hairstyle department would be missed.

Scott Crumbie

Just the one season from Scott who played twelve times (twice as sub) and had three goals to his name. A very decent midfielder he joined as a favour and always put in a decent shift for us. Two MVP wins and no Spoons underline that.

Wayne Farquhar

'Farky' had played for the team in the five-a-side years but this was his one and only season in the Sunday line-up. Nine games (two as sub) and no goals, two Spoons and no MVPs probably don't do his contribution justice. An accomplished player he was also a morale-boosting presence and probably invented 'banter' as we know it today.

1997/98 - MVP & Spoons

Watty might not have won the Golden Boot this year but his efforts were rewarded with the MVP award.

Richie won Spoons, often without being present at the game.

		1997/1998
		MVP	Spoons
Carpenter		1
Cook		1	3
Cox			3
Crumbie		2
Farquhar			2
Garratt		3	4
Goldsworthy
Gould		3	3
Harries		1
Hobbs			1
Lunt			1
Merry		2	1
Payne G.
Powell		1	2
Rees		2	5
Sharp		1
Smedley		1
Summers		2
Swatridge		3	1
Warr B.		1
Warr M.			3
Watling		4
Winters
Woolford			1

1997/98 - Goalscorers

A poor season reflected by the low number of goalscorers this season.

Coxy's persistence brought him the Golden Boot.

Cox		10
Watling		8
Merry		7
Rees		7
Gould		5
Crumbie		3
Garratt		2
Payne G.		2
Cook		1
Harries		1

1997/98 - Appearances

		1997/1998
		Total
		Appearances	Sub
Carpenter		19	0
Cook		11	3
Cox		18	1
Crumbie		10	2
Farquhar		7	2
Garratt		7	4
Goldsworthy		2	0
Gould		16	1
Harries		12	1
Hobbs		11	1
Lunt		7	0
Merry		16	0
Payne G.		12	1
Powell		10	0
Rees		13	1
Sharp		1	0
Smedley		12	3
Summers		6	2
Swatridge		11	1
Warr B.		3	1
Warr M.		18	0
Watling		12	0
Winters		1	1
Woolford		4	0

With no Cup games played this season Carpo made the most starts for the team with 19 (out of 22) and Coxy joining him on that total with 18 starts and one sub appearance.

1997/98 - Division 5 Final Table

	Swindon Sunday Football League							`
	Division 5 1997/98
	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts		Home		Away
1	Akers Garage Sports	22	20	2	0	122	24	98	42		0-3		0-4
2	Hewers Bakery*	22	20	1	1	96	23	73	41		1-6		1-8
3	National Power	22	13	1	8	62	39	23	27		4-3		3-7
4	Sports Division	22	11	4	7	55	57	-2	26		3-6		1-5
5	Lyneham Athletic	22	10	4	8	69	57	12	24		3-3		0-7
6	Cursor Graphic	22	11	0	11	65	61	4	22		0-6		3-2
7	Highworth Plough	22	9	3	10	32	43	-11	21		0-1		1-1
8	KMLC FC	22	5	5	12	47	86	-39	15		~		~
9	Workbase Resources	22	5	4	13	43	64	-21	14		3-3		4-1
10	Swindon Police	22	6	1	15	36	82	-46	13		3-2		2-5
11	The Lamb	22	5	2	15	53	87	-34	12		1-2		4-4
12	The White House	22	3	1	18	32	89	-57	7		4-4		7-3

*Possible name change to Tran Staff at some point on the season

Poor season ends in another defeat

5 April 1998, Division Five at Ballards Ash

Akers Garage 4 KMLC FC 0

I think we were probably all glad to see the back of this season. Where we'd previously been a match for old rivals Akers and given them sough tough games, this season it was two defeats - no goals scored and seven conceded.

This was a 4-0 defeat with Cook and Smedley sharing MVP honours and Rees taking anther Spoons.


Powell
Carpenter, Hobbs, Payne, Cook
Smedley, Gould, Goldsworthy, Cox
Rees, Watling
Subs: Winters for Goldsworthy, Swatridge for Hobbs, Crumbie


MVP: Cook, Smedley
Spoons: Rees


Next match - next season. Let's try to be a bit better.

At least it was better than last week!

15 March 1998, Division 5 at Mannington

KMLC FC 1 Hewers Bakery 6

A quirk of the fixture list meant that the Kylies faced Hewers two weeks running. After an 8-1 defeat last week the Kylies put in a slightly improved performance to lose 6-1. It's 13 games without a win now.

Gould got the only Kylie goal and took MVP with it. Powell and Woolford shared Spoons which may suggest a defensive mix-up.


Powell
Carpenter, Hobbs, Woolford, Cook
M.Warr, Gould, Payne, Cox
Merry, Crumbie
Sub: Garratt

Goal: Gould

MVP: Gould
Spoons: Powell, Woolford


Next match - 5 April v Akers Garage

Heaviest defeat at the hands of Hewers

8 March 1998 at Shrewsbury Road

Hewers Bakery 8 KMLC FC 1

Hewers did the double over the Kylies last season and made it three straight wins in this fixture with this victory, the team's heaviest loss of the campaign.

Last season the aggregate score of the two games was 8-1. Was it a measure of the team's decline that the same scoreline was reached in this one Sunday morning?

Cox got the consolation goal, taking him to double figures for the season - Summers, back in the heart of the defence, won MVP - while Spoons went to Rees who at least played and got it this time.

The two debutants, Goldsworthy and Winters, must have wondered what they'd let themselves in for.


Powell
Carpenter, Hobbs, Woolford, Summers
M.Warr, Gould, Goldsworthy, Cox
Rees, Winters
Subs: Crumbie for Summers, Garratt

Goal: Cox

MVP: Summers
Spoons: Rees



Next match - 15 March v Hewers Bakery (again)

JP is MVP in Lyneham draw

1 March 1998, Division 5 at Mannington

KMLC FC 3 AFC Lyneham 3

A win was still proving elusive for the Kylies but at least the team picked up a fourth draw in five matches. The scoreline was also a huge improvement on the 7-0 thrashing the team were on the wrong end of at the airbase in December.

There were goals for Payne, Rees and Cox but Powell took his first MVP for the club in his sixth game between the sticks.


Powell
Carpenter, Smedley, Woolford, M.Warr
Cook, Crumbie, Payne, Cox
Rees, Watling
Sub: Garratt for Carpenter

Goals: Payne, Rees, Cox

MVP: Powell
Spoons: Garratt


Next match - 8 March v Hewers Bakery

Unbeaten sequence stopped by Police

8 February 1998, Division 5 at Ballards Ash

Swindon Police 5 KMLC FC 2

After three draws in a row it was back to being on the receiving end for the Kylies. It was the bare 11 at Ballards Ash and they couldn't repeat the win over these opponents from the first match in October.

Garratt got his second goal of the campaign, surprising himself as much as anyone with a smart turn and shot that found the bottom corner.  However, he let himself down with possibly the worst celebration in Kylie history.

Racing over to linesman 'Chopper' Harries he pretended to be a tree while 'Chopper' used the linesman's flag to cut him down. Outrageous. He won MVP but surely should have got Spoons for that horror.


Powell
Carpenter, Cook, M.Warr, Crumbie
B.Warr, Gould, Merry, Cox
Garratt, Rees

Goals: Garratt, Merry


MVP: Garratt
Spoons: Cook


Next match - 1 March v AFC Lyneham

Watty brace stretches unbeaten run

1 February 1998, Division 5 at Mannington

KMLC FC 3 Workbase Resources 3

This draw, against a Workbase side that the Kylies had put away 4-1 earlier in the season, gave the team their third draw in a row. That's if you're 'glass half full'. If you're 'glass half empty' it's now eight without a win.

After his stint in defence last week Watty was back up front and netting two goals into the bargain. Gouldy got the other one from the spot while JP and Matthew shared spoons which could indicate some sort of defensive mix-up.

Powell
Carpenter, Hobbs, M.Warr, Crumbie
Payne, Gould, Merry, Cox
Rees, Watling
Subs: Cook for Carpenter, Farquahar for Payne, Smedley for Rees

Goals: Watling 2, Gould (p)


MVP: Watling
Spoons: M.Warr, Powell


Next match - 8 February v Swindon Police

Four goals only good enough for Lamb point

25 January 1998, Division 5 at Marlborough

The Lamb 4 KMLC FC 4

The Lamb's pitch was never one we got to grips with. The changing rooms were a bit of farce too if I remember. A couple of weedy showers and that was that.

To the game then - after that run of three games without a goal the team were firing again and took their tally to 11 in four games. Trouble is, the defence still wasn't as tight as could be and conceded the same number - Matthew taking Spoons may say something.

Merry, Rees, Cox and Gould (from the spot) got the goals, I also have a recollection of Coxy turning one in from an offside position when it may have bounced into the net unaided. Garratt may also have come on for 10 minutes and not got a touch. There was a rare appearance of Ben too, coming off the bench for one of the MVPs.


Powell,
Carpenter, Hobbs, M.Warr, Watling
Payne, Gould, Merry, Crumbie
Rees, Cox
Subs: B.Warr for Crumbie, Garratt for Cox

Goals: Merry, Rees, Cox, Gould (p)


MVP: Crumbie, Gould
Spoons: M.Warr


Next match - 1 February v Workbase Resources

Carpo MVP in Plough draw

11 January 1998, Division 5 at Warneford School

Highworth Plough 1 KMLC FC 1

After five straight defeats the Kylies picked up a point in a hard-fought tussle with the Plough. It was a post-Highworth 10 game so some sore heads and tired performances were most likely on show.

Carpo was clearly one of the sorest as he'd thrown up in the car park before the game. He still managed to clear two off the line and win MVP. Well played sir! Coxy got the Kylie goal, Matthew won Spoons for reasons that are lost in time.


Powell
Carpenter, Hobbs, Harries, M.Warr
Smedley, Gould, Merry, Payne?
Rees, Cox
Subs: Summers for Hobbs, Garratt

Goal: Cox


MVP: Carpenter
Spoons: M.Warr


Next match - 25 January v The Lamb, Marlborough

New keeper, same result

4 January 1998, Division 5 at King Edward Stud, Wanborough

National Power 7 KMLC FC 3

An unhappy new year for the Kylies with another defeat. JP wore the keeper's gloves for the first time but brought no great change to the team's performance and found himself on the losing side like the three other custodians this season.

It was another week of a bare 11 turning out and saw Gould win his first MVP of the season.


Powell
Carpenter, Hobbs, Harries, Cook
Smedley, Gould, Merry, Payne
Rees, Cox

Goals: Rees, Cox, Gould


MVP: Gould
Spoons: Cook


Next match - 11 January v Highworth Plough