Half as good is good enough

28 November 1999, Division 5

KMLC FC 2 Honda Logistics 1

By a quirk of the fixture list we were playing last week's opponents, Honda Logistics, again. There was just one change to the starting line-up that had brought the last two wins with Gunning returning, after a ten game absence, for Smedley. A rare appearance for Sharpy from the bench too.

The big defender got on the scoresheet too with Watty adding the other. It was 2-1 compared to last week's 4-2 but a win's a win.

In fact, that was five league wins in a row, we hadn't managed that since a run at the end of 1996 in our Division 6 days equalling our longest run of successive wins.


Humphries
Winters, Hobbs, Gould, Gunning
Payne, Merry, Hales, Rees
Watling, Ausden
Subs: Sharp for Gould, Powell for Gunning

Goals: Gunning (15), Watling (71)

MVP: Winters
Spoons: Merry



Next match - 9 January 2000 (weather must have been bad in December) v High Street Club

Honda out-performed by Kylies

21 November 1999, Division 5

Honda Logistics 2 KMLC FC 4

The excellent league form continued with another four-goal victory. After last week's hat-trick Watty added another two to his tally with Gary and Richie chipping in as well.

Amazingly we named an unchanged starting eleven. That can't have happened often.


Humphries,
Winters, Hobbs, Gould, Smedley
Payne, Merry, Hales, Rees
Watling, Ausden
Subs: Carpenter for Winters, Powell for Hobbs

Goals: Watling (40,77), Payne (58), Rees (69)


MVP: Payne
Spoons: Carpenter



Next match - 28 November v Honda Logistics (again)

Electric performance by Watty too good for NP

14 November 1999, Division 5

NP Electric 1 KMLC FC 4

The Kylies had been waiting two years for a hat-trick scorer before Dollar got one against the Lamb in October and he'd added a second two weeks later.

Now it was Watty's turn to get in on the act with a treble, his first since February 1997. Powelly, on as a sub, got the other one. It was his first for the club, but not his last.


Humphries
Winters, Hobbs, Gould , Smedley
Payne, Merry, Hales, Rees
Watling, Ausden
Subs: Carpenter for Winters, Powell for Ausden

Goals: Watling (12, 29, 49), Powell (71)


MVP: Watling
Spoons: Merry



Next match - 21 November v Honda Logistics

Kylies clubbed by Dunbar in Wilts

7 November 1999, Wilts Cup

KMLC FC 0 Dunbar Club 5

We'd only entered the Wilts Cup twice previously and hadn't won a match. In 1995 we'd crashed out 10-0 to Rodbourne WMC (the infamous "you might want to be a bit tighter" game), while in 1998 we'd been edged out 2-1 after extra time by Division 2 side SW Transport.

Dunbar Club were a Division One side at the time so splitting the difference of our two previous defeats in this competition and going down 5-0 doesn't sound too bad. Especially when we had no subs so must have been struggling to get our best team out.


Humphries
Powell, Carpenter, Cook, Smedley
Winters, Rees, Hales, Hobbs
Ausden, Cox

MVP: Cook, Smedley
Spoons: Winters



Next match - 14 November v NP Electric

Kylies edge out Police

24 October 1999, Division 5

Swindon Police 1 KMLC FC 2

This victory made it back to back wins for the Kylies. That shouldn't seem like a big deal but it was the first time since December last year.

Gouldy will probably point to the fact that he was back in the starting line up (in a new centre half/libero role) but the goals came from Watling and Payne.


Humphries
Winters, Hobbs, Gould, Smedley
Merry, Payne, Hales, Rees
Watling, Ausden
Subs: Cox for Hales, Powell for Merry

Goals: Watling (44), Payne (73)


MVP: Hobbs
Spoons: Humphries


Next match - 7 November v Dunbar Club (Wilts Cup)

Six goals deliver Woodshaw win

17 October 1999, Division 5

KMLC FC 6 Spartak Woodshaw 3

While the defence continued its leaky start to the season the forwards came to the rescue to deliver the first win of the season.

Ausden led the way with his second hat-trick in three games (that's nine in four games now), Watty took his total to four while Cox and, more surprisingly, Cooky opened their accounts for the season.

Swatty hung up his Kylie boots for the final time after this game, his 76th in total. We also saw the return of Gouldy after missing the start of the season.


Humphries
Carpenter, Winters, Swatridge, Cook
Hobbs, Merry, Hales, Cox
Ausden, Watling
Subs: Gould for Swatridge, Powell for Carpenter

Goals: Ausden (19, 45, 90), Watling (4), Cox (34), Cook (62)


MVP: Merry
Spoons: Swatridge



Next match - 24 October v Swindon Police

Nationwide suck life out of Chairman's challenge

10 October 1999, Chairman's Trophy

Nationwide Life 3 KMLC FC 2

We were pretty dreadful in Cup matches but had won through one round of the Chairman's Trophy in 1996 and 1998. Not this year though.

Nationwide Life were a new team, starting in Division eight, but proved too good for this Kylie side and won by the odd goal in five.

Ausden made it six in three games but more notably it was Swatty's 37th and last goal for the club.


Humphries
Carpenter, Winters, Swatridge, Cook
Hobbs, Smedley, Hales, Cox
Ausden, Merry
Subs: Harries for Hobbs, Powell for Cox

Goals: Swatridge (44), Ausden (80)


MVP: Winters, Merry
Spoons: Swatridge



Next match - 17 October v Spartak Woodshaw

Another pointless trip to Marlborough

3 October 1999, Division 5

The Lamb Marlborough 8 KMLC FC 3

I've written before about how badly we did on our trips to Marlborough's tiny pitch. Well, none was worse than this.

After this match we'd conceded 32 goals in five games. Not clever. It took the shine off a great performance from Dollar who scored all our goals.

It was the first Kylie hat-trick for almost exactly two years (Richie was the last, against National Power on 5 October 1995) and the only time a Kylie hat-trick scorer finished on the losing side.


Humphries
Carpenter, Winters, Powell, Swatridge
Harries, Hobbs, Payne, Hales
Ausden, Cox
Subs: Smedley for Harries, Garratt for Swatridge

Goals: Ausden (29, 61, 75)


MVP: Ausden
Spoons: Garratt


Next match - 10 October v Nationwide Life (Chairman's Trophy)

Dollar double in defeat

26 September 1999, Division 5

KMLC FC 2 Kempsford 4

The Kylies were still looking for their first win of the season after a home defeat to Kempsford.

Phil 'Dollar' Ausden made his first appearance of the season and scored two goals, one from the spot. Harries played his first game of the campaign too and lasted the full distance. Probably a good thing with only Powell and Garratt on the bench.


Humphries
Carpenter, Winters, Swatridge, Cook
Harries, Hales, Hobbs, Smedley
Cox, Ausden
Subs: Powell, Garratt

Goals: Ausden (28p, 54)


MVP: Hobbs
Spoons: Garratt



Next match - 3 October v The Lamb Marlborough

Kylies torched by Welding

19 September 1999, Division 5

Compton Welding 9 KMLC FC 2

For the second time in three games this season the Kylies were on the wrong end of a nine-goal beating. Powelly was in goal this time, Andy H (in the sticks for the previous beating) came on up front so we might have been struggling for bodies.

Watty and Hales got our goals but that pales into insignificance against the number conceded. If you want some context, Compton Welding did go on to win the league so they must have been alright.

The game saw a debut for Mark Astley - anyone remember him?


Powell
Carpenter, Winters, Swatridge, Cook
Smedley, Payne, Astley, Hales,
Merry, Watling

Subs: Cox for Astley, Humphries for Merry

Goals: Watling (2), Hales (34)


MVP: Hales
Spoons: Payne



Next match - 26 September v Kempsford

Watty double earns Green Baize point

12 September 1999, Division 5

Green Baize 2 KMLC FC 2

A stronger team than last week with the returns of Payne, Hobbs and Smedley kicked off the league season.

Watty wasn't shackled by having to play with Peej up front and scored twice in three minutes as we started the league campaign with a point.

Humphries
Carpenter, Winters, Swatridge, Smedley
Payne, Hobbs, Hales, Rees
Merry, Watling
Subs: Harries, Powell

Goals: Watling (61), (63)


MVP: Swatridge, Payne
Spoons: Smedley



Next match - 19 September v Compton Welding

Season starts with Cup hammering

5 September 1999, Knockout Cup

(Editors's note - the records are getting sketchier, I can't be sure of we're we played some of the games this season.)

KMLC FC 1 Ambulance Athletic 9

Well, at least we kept it in single figures! The knockout Cup was never that kind to us but we probably weren't expecting to get stuffed by a division seven side.

Looks like we could only muster the bare eleven which might have had something to do with it. Richie got our goal. One curiosity is that Gunning would miss ten games then play once before missing another ten and returning for the last game of the season. No idea why.


Humphries
Carpenter, Powell, Swatridge, Gunning
Hales, Merry, Rees, Winters
Garratt, Watling

Goal: Rees (84)


MVP: Swatridge, Rees
Spoons: Humphries, Hales


Next match - 12 September v Green Baize

The Kylie, August 1999 - Issue 3 (Part six)

Kylie Babe of the Month

Anna Kournikova

Editor's note - this isn't the exact same photo as used in the issue but is from the same photoshoot.

The Kylie, August 1999 - Issue 3 (Part five)

Richie Writes

Advice From The Heart

continued...

Sunbed is ruining me!

Dear Richie
My electricity bill is always ten times my neighbours yet my only electrical item is a sunbed. I just can't bring myself to switch it off! I'm facing bankruptcy so what should I do?

Richie Writes: 2 words for you = FAKE TAN!


BR here I come!

Dear Richie
Where O where can I go to learn to be a train driver?

Richie Writes: Call my "How to be a train driver" Hotline, they should be able to give you all the info you need. Good Luck!


I want to be Pele!

Dear Richie
I have fantasies about playing for Brazil and dribbling the ball round the whole French football team (twice!) to score the winning goal in the World Cup final. Is this healthy?

Richie Writes: First of all but every item of Brazilian football kit you can find then practice being a greedy bastard on Sunday mornings, finally stick 2 pieces of 'Extra' chewing gum over your front teeth and you're nearly there!


Stop me Hogging!

Dear Richie
I find it impossible to play 2-touch football, where am I going wroung?

Richie Writes: Try removing the superglue from your football boots and this might help,


Please write to Rich as your problems are his problems.

The Kylie, August 1999 - Issue 3 (Part four)

Richie Writes

Advice from the Heart

(Editor's note - This 'Agony Aunt' column, written by our very own Richie Rees, originally appeared with fake names of the people who wrote the fake questions. As those names were only one or two letters removed from people's real names I have removed those to protect the innocent!)

Food is ruining my marriage!

Dear Richie
Every night when my wife is asleep I sneak downstairs and eat loads of pizza and chocolate. I'm worried this will ruin my marriage so what should I do?

Richie Writes: I think the best way to avoid the temptation of chocolate and pizza is to not buy them in the first place you Fat Bastard!


Manager gives me the hots!

Dear Richie
I try and model myself on my football manager who's really lovely, should I let him know how I feel?

Richie Writes: Next time your manager is giving a naked team talk let him know you like him by gently caressing his bottom, not only will this let him know how you feel it will also give you a pleasurable erection.


My temper is ruining my life!

Dear Richie
I have sudden head rushes when playing football which causes me to shout and swear at my team mates which always ends up in them leaving me - I'm worried that I'll end up alone so what should I do?

Richie Writes: Eh mate. Don't have a go at me about it! Sort it out yourself!


Old before my time!

Dear Richie
I seem to have aged twice as fast as my friends, do you think I should see a doctor?

Richie Writes: Try Oil of Ulay, it does wonders for your skin and also has a very nice scent.


To be continued...

The Kylie, August 1999 - Issue 3 (Part three)

Player Profile

Name: Philip Graham Hobbs
Previous Clubs: The Grapes, Highworth, Sacha Distel's Fan Club
Favourite TV: Open University
Favourite Music: Little Red Ball by Tommy Steele
Favourite Place: Swindon College
Favourite Pastimes: Accountancy & Waffling

The Kylie, August 1999 - Issue 3 (Part two)

Social Events

Kylies night at the dogs - September 25th 1999

The Six-Pack costs just £10 and is simply the best value in town.
The price includes:

• Admission (including car/coach parking)
• Racecard
• Chicken and chips or Scampi and chips
• Two pints (or two single house spirits with mixer)
• £1 tote voucher
• Free admission on your next visit

Dear Kylies,

This is a good chance for us to get together and have a good but cheap evening together with partners and friends and a good opportunity to raise some more money for the club.

Please can you let me know how many people are coming with a £5.00 deposit for each person you bring by Sunday September 5th. The more people come the more chance we have at getting our own room with bar and betting facilities.

I hope we can all make the effort to turn up ourselves and with friends and family if possible.

KMLC Golf Day 99

Friday 10th September

Venue: Broome Manor Golf Club

Cost: £20 - £10 deposit required ASAP

Time: 1pm

Meal: Italian/Indian (Whatever We Decide)

Evening: Old Town then on to a club

Can all Kylies past and present who are interested please contact myself or Gary Payne so we can start to arrange teams for the day.

As above we will require the £10 deposit at least 2 weeks before the event.

Prizes to be won.

The Kylie, August 1999 - Issue 3 (Part one)

News

Gary Payne Wins MVP

Last season's award ceremony was held at The Falcon and was a successful evening. The following people won awards:

• MVP - Gary Payne
• Golden Boot - Mark Watling
• Captain's Trophy - Paul Garratt
• Spoons - Richie Rees

Next season's end of season ceremony will be discussed at the next committee meeting and options put forward to the team to decide..


Forthcoming Fixtures

• August 22nd - Nationwide Pipers Way - 10.30am Kick Off - v Nationwide 
• August 24th - Faringdon - 6.30 Kick Off - v Faringdon
• August 29th - King Edward Stud - 10.30am Kick Off - National Power

Game Day Rules

• Players must arrive between 9.45 and 10am
• Late fine will be £1.00 after 10am
• £3.00 Subs to be paid on game day
• Dirty Boots will be a fine of £1.00

The Kylie, June 1999 - Issue 2 (Part four)

Kylie Player Profile

Stuart "Sipper" Gould

Full Name: Stuart Lloyd Gould
Birthplace: Swindon
Height: 5ft 7inches
Nicknames: Sipper, Gouldy and Gobby

Previous Clubs: Swindon Town / Highworth Town / Fairford Town / Hungerford Town / Ferndale / Aldbourne Park / Lechlade / Highworth Juniors / Swindon Schoolboys

Favourite Player: Alan Hudson
Favourite Other Team: Brazil
Favourite Drink: Strongbow

The Kylie, June 1999 - Issue 2 (Part three)

Pre-season news

Pre-season training

Training starts July 4th 10am at Mannington, all players welcome old and new for the start of this season's training sessions. Please find below dates and times of forthcoming training sessions.

DAY	DATE	START TIME	VENUE
Sunday	4th July	10am	Mannington
Wednesday	yth July	6.45pm	Mannington
Sunday	11th July	10am	Mannington
Thursday	15th July	6.45pm	Mannington
Sunday	18th July	10am	Mannington
Wednesday	21st July	6.45pm	Mannington
Tuesday	27th July	6.45pm	Mannington
Sunday	1st August	10am	Mannington
Sunday	8th August	10am	Mannington
Thursday	12th August	6.45pm	Mannington

All players are welcome to attend all training sessions but not compulsory.

Pre-season friendly

Our first friendly has been arranged for the Wednesday 4th August against NALGO, kick-off 6.30pm venue to be decided. You will all receive confirmation by phone nearer the date.

When more friendlies are agreed then all players will be notified of date, opposition, venue and kick-off time.

The Kylie, June 1999 - Issue 2 (Part two)

Forthcoming Kylie Events

Stuart's Stag Night

Everyone is invited to celebrate Stu The Sipper Gould's one of many last nights of freedo. The venue is Highworth and we are meeting at the Fox at 7pm.

Kylies Season 99/00 Team Photo

It will be announced in the forthcoming weeks a date and time and place for this season's photo. We have a professional photographer so this year we will ast last get a photo for our sponsors Derrick Newman and Co. Accountants.

I will give you plenty of notice so please can you try to be there for the photo.

Kylies night at the dogs - Saturday August 28th

The Six-Pack costs just £10 and is simply the best value in town.
The price includes:

• Admission (including car/coach parking)
• Racecard
• Chicken and chips or Scampi and chips
• Two pints (or two single house spirits with mixer)
• £1 tote voucher
• Free admission on your next visit

The Kylie, June 1999 - Issue 2 (Part one)

The A.G.M.

I would like to thank all of the people who attended this year's AGM. I have a full copy for anyone who would like to read the full version of the minutes but here are a few bullet points.

• Match fees/fines are kept the same
• Stuart stays on as manager
• Assistant manager wanted - People interested see Stuart
• All members of the board re-elected
• Medical bag to be re-stocked
• Players agree more celebrations after scoring, (so get thinking, the wackier the better)
• Kylies make small profit over the season
• More team functions to be organized
• Kylies have great discipline record once again but beaten into first place by Swindon Police.

Thanks,

Paul Garratt

The Kylie, May 1999 - Issue 1 (Part three)

Forthcoming Events

End of Season Award Ceremony

This year's award evening will be held at The Falcon on Westcott Place on Date to be announced June starting at 7.30pm. Please bring your partner or guest, there will be a hot/cold buffet, skittles and of course the award ceremony.

We look forward to seeing you all there for a great evening of food, drink and getting Andy 'The Falcon' Humphries extremely drunk as he will be celebrating one of his many 21st birthdays.


Team Get Together

Place: Cross Keys - Old Town
Time: 7:30pm
Date: Saturday 5th June

A night out to get extremely drunk and go to Mission and dance to Abba and Wham! and all of those other 70s and 80s s**t songs that we all dance to when we are drunk.


Golf Day

Please find attached* a letter from Gary Payne about a golf day he is trying to organise.

Please can you get your forms back to him by the 5th June so he can arrange a venue date and time for us to get together.

It will be a great day out with plenty of alcohol, food, golf and most of all a great amount of fun.


* (as I don't have a letter attached I must have sent it back!)

The Kylie, May 1999 - Issue 1 (Part two)

The A.G.M.

Yes folk, it's that time of the year when we all get together and discuss the serious side of the club over a few beers, game of pool etc. The venue this year is again the Southbrook Club on Tuesday 15th June starting at 7:30pm.

I would like to see every player attend if possible for us to get together as a team and so you can find out what's been going on behind the scenes and have an input on all decisions about how and who runs the club over the next season.

There will be an agenda on the evening and a chance for you to voice any questions about the club and any other issues that may arise.

Yours sincerely
Paul Garratt

The Kylie, May 1999 - Issue 1 (Part one)

Kylies Send Lamb To The Slaughter

For the first time in a long tim the Kylies were on the brink of relegation to Div 6. On a sunny Sunday at Mannington we were facing The Lamb at Marlborough, the lads turned up in high spirits and ready for action, we went out with only one thing on our minds - to win.

We had a great start when Phil 'Two Touch Dollar' Ausden was put through and scored, this was doubled when Mark Watling hit a sweet shot into the bottom right hand corner.

The Lamb then pulled one back before half time to make it 2-1. After another inspiring team talk by Stuart 'Sipper' Gould the lads came out firing on all cylinders, we dominated the play only to be drawn back level by a 30 yard scorcher from the Lamb which Andy 'The Falcon' Humphries could not stop.

We now knew that if we wanted to stay up we had to battle. An inspired substitution saw Scholesy come on and the Kylies go on to win 4-2 with goals from Phil 'Two Touch Dollar' Ausden and Richie 'The Spoons' Rees. We had done it. Secured Division 5 football next season an we were proud of it. Well done the lads!!!

Report by J.Powell

About 'The Kylie' Newsletter

Through the spring and summer of 1999 there was a short-lived newsletter called 'The Kylie' to advertise club events and support team camaraderie.

Largely a Powell/Merry production (if my memory serves me rightly) I'll be reproducing bits of it here through the spring and summer of 2019.

I'll type it up though so I can change the spelling and grammar mistakes and leave out the libellous bits!

1998/99 - Moving On

? Adams

Well there was always a danger this might happen but I can't deny it's embarrassing. The Kylie 'Brains Trust' can't remember the first name of 'Adams' who played fifteen times for the club, fourteen as a starter, this season.

He was a full-back, won MVP once (against Highworth Plough) but that's all I've got, sorry.

Mike Goldsworthy

Nine starts, four sub appearances, one MVP and one Spoons for a player who only turned out for us this season. He was another one who mostly played as a full back too. Were we getting through them like Spinal Tap drummers?

Andy James

One start, in a win over North Swindon WMC, in midfield and a sub appearance replacing Coxy against Ghost Train. And then he was gone.

Alan Lunt

Big Al's final two appearances came in November and he signed off between the sticks in a 5-2 win over Plough Badbury.

He'd taken over the gloves nine games into our first season but injury and occasional lack of availability meant it was only 1996/97 when he had the lion's share of games in goal. Would also make his presence felt up front from time to time when we had more goalkeepers than outfield players some Sundays.

1994/95 - 11 games, three as sub - 1 MVP, 2 Spoons
1995/96 - 19 games, one goal - 3 MVP, 2 Spoons
1996/97 - 21 games, - 2 MVP, 2 Spoons
1997/98 - 7 games - 1 Spoons
1998/99 - 2 games

Steven Payne

I was surprised to see that 'Scholesy' only turned out for us this season. Did he return in the Gary Payne management years I wonder. Anyway, he was a super little midfield player and can consider himslef unlucky he was in the squad when we were very busy in those positions.

His final tally was 19 starts, four sub appearances and four goals with an MVP (v then employers Nationwide) and 2 Spoons.

Brian Woolford

Made his debut in the Luton Kenilworth Cup game and was a stalwart through the 5-a-side years. A near ever-present during the first three league seasons but already had a lot of miles on the clock after a decent youth career and injury plus subsequent fitness issues took their toll.

Moved into the assistant manager role this season but left the following year after becoming rightly hacked off with the attitude of certain players.

1994/95 - 21 games, one goal (v Stratton Red Eagles) - 4 MVP, 1 Spoons
1995/96 - 24 games, two goals (v AFC Purton and ISSC) - 1 Spoon
1996/97 - 26 games
1997/98 - 4 games - 1 Spoon
1998/99 - 1 game (as sub in a win over North Swindon WMC)

Was sent off at least once as well. I remember a poorly disguised handball somewhere. Possibly Ballard's Ash. There may have been others. I forget.

1998/99 - MVP/Spoons

Gary's six MVP season (including three in a row during November in December) earned him the coveted MVP of the season award. He saw off a late charge from Humphries who won four of the last five weekly prizes.

Rich won Spoons at a canter and is very proud of it as a recent picture of the award shows.

Rich's hand with the 1998-99 Spoon

	MVP	Spoons
Adams	1
Ausden		1
Carpenter
Cook	2	1
Cox		3
Goldsworthy	1	1
Gould	1
Gunning	1	1
Hales	1	2
Harries		1
Hobbs	2	1
Humphries	5	2
Merry	2	1
Payne G.	6	3
Payne S.	1	2
Powell	1
Rees	1	6
Watling	4	2
Winters	1	1

1998/99 - Goalscorers

Mark wins back the Golden Boot in a season when he was the only player to score more than six times.

	League		Cup		Total
	Goals		Goals		Goals
Watling	15		2		17
Cox	5		1		6
Ausden	4				4
Rees	4				4
Payne S.	3		1		4
Cook	3				3
Gunning	2				2
Hales	2				2
Carpenter	1				1
Garratt	1				1
Hobbs	1				1
Winters	1				1
Smedley			1		1

1998/99 - Appearances

	League			Cup			Total
	Apps	Sub		Apps	Sub		Apps	Sub
Watling	19			4			23	0
Payne G.	18			3			21	0
Cook	15	2		4			19	2
Payne S.	15	4		4			19	4
Rees	16			3	1		19	1
Cox	16	3		2	1		18	4
Hales	14	1		3			17	1
Winters	15	3		2	2		17	5
Humphries	15			1			16	0
Adams	12	1		2			14	1
Smedley	12	4		2	2		14	6
Powell	10	2		3			13	2
Gould	9			2			11	0
Hobbs	11	2			2		11	4
Gunning	9			1			10	0
Goldsworthy	6	3		3	1		9	4
Merry	4	8		3			7	8
Ausden	5	1					5	1
Carpenter	4			1	2		5	2
Harries	3	1		1			4	1
Lunt	2						2	0
James	1	1					1	1
Garratt		1					0	1
Sharp		1					0	1
Woolford		1					0	1

1998/99 - Division 5 Final Table

Eighth place for the second season running.

	Swindon Sunday Football League							`
	Division 5 1998/99
	Team	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts		Home		Away
1	Coleview Community Centre	22	18	2	2	123	45	78	38		2-14		2-5
2	Highworth Plough	22	16	3	3	82	38	44	35		0-2		3-3
3	Dynamo Purton	22	16	2	4	79	36	43	34		2-8		1-3
4	The Mallard Lyneham	22	14	4	4	86	45	41	32		0-8		1-4
5	North Swindon WMC	22	11	2	9	55	59	-4	24		1-3		2-1
6	Nationwide	22	7	6	9	49	52	-3	20		3-3		3-1
7	BM Magnetics	22	8	2	12	49	62	-13	18		2-6		2-3
8	KMLC FC	22	7	3	12	43	76	-33	17		~		~
9	NP Electric	22	7	2	13	41	61	-20	16		0-1		4-2
10	Swindon Police	22	5	5	12	43	73	-30	15		3-1		1-1
11	The Lamb Marlborough	22	6	0	16	57	102	-45	12		4-2		1-3
12	The Plough Badbury	22	1	1	20	30	88	-58	3		5-2		1-0*

* The Plough Badbury could not fulfil the fixture - we were awarded the 1-0 win.

Lamb win ends relegation fears

2 May 1999, Division 5 at Mannington (most likely)

KMLC FC 4 The Lamb Marlborough 2

Maybe we just needed a couple of weeks off! After a two week break the Kylies returned to play their last game of the season and picked up their second win of 1999.

It might have been an important one too. Defeat would have meant the side finishing in the bottom three. Would that have resulted in relegation. More of that in a future post...

Dollar got his first brace for the club, one from the spot, but also got Spoons so he must have done something pretty awful. Rees and Watling got the other goals while there were three MVPs. Gary Payne, Rees and Humphries (four in the last five games for the keeper) spreading the award love.


Humphries
Powel, Winters, Smedley, Cook
G.Payne, Hobbs, Rees, Hales
Watling, Ausden
Subs: S.Payne for Powell, Cox

Goals: Ausden 2 (1p), Watling, Rees


MVP: Humphries, G.Payne, Rees
Spoons: Ausden



Next match - Is in September - come back raring to go!

Ploughmen enjoy lunch after beating Kylies

18 April 1999, Division 5 at Mannington (most likely)

KMLC FC 0 Highworth Plough 2

The Kylie run without a win stretched to nine games after a home defeat to friendly rivals Highworth Plough.

The team only failed to score on three occasions in the league this year and this was the third of those in a run of just seven games. It was another MVP for Humphries which suggests that we might have been lucky to get away with 2-0. Hales picked up Spoons.


Humphries
Powell, Winters, G.Payne, Cook
Smedley, Hobbs, Rees, Hales
Cox, Ausden
Subs: Merry for Cox, S.Payne for Hales


MVP: Humphries
Spoons: Hales



Next match - 2 May v The Lamb Marlborough

Poor run continues with WMC loss

11 April 1999, Division 5 at Mannington (I expect)

KMLC FC 1 North Swindon WMC 3

The season continued to end with a whimper as the Kylies fell to a team they'd beaten a couple of months previously.

Like a lot of these games I can't remember the first thing about it but the records say Cook got his second goal in three games and his second MVP of the season. At the other end of the scale Harries started, got subbed and won Spoons. Not his best day and he didn't appear again this season.


Humphries
Powell, Winters, Harries, Cook
G.Payne, Hales, Rees, Cox
Watling, Ausden
Subs: Merry for Harries, Garratt

Goal: Cook (73)


MVP: Cook
Spoons: Harries


Next match - 18 April v Highworth Plough

Nationwide draw doesn't lack interest

8 April 1999, Division 5 at Mannington (probably)

KMLC FC 3 Nationwide 3

The only evening game of the season saw six goals shared between the teams. The Kylies won the first fixture between these teams 3-1 and scored three again but this time the defence wasn't so tight, despite an MVP performance from Humphries between the sticks.

Rees, Watling and Ausden got the goals while Winters got a rare Spoons award.


Humphries
Powell, Winters, G.Payne, Cook
Smedley, Hales, Rees, Cox
Watling, Ausden
Subs: Harries for Powell, Merry for Cox, Garratt

Goals, Rees (14), Watling (62), Ausden (64)


MVP: Humphries
Spoons: Winters


Next match - 11 April v North Swindon WMC

Improvement in defeat (well it couldn't have got much worse)

4 April 1999, Division 5

Coleview Community Centre 5 KMLC FC 2

This was the sixth straight defeat for the team but there would have been relief at reducing last week's 14-2 deficit to something more manageable.

Humphries returned to take the gloves from Powell (who'd conceded 22 in the previous two games - I'm not saying they were all his fault, just reporting facts) and was MVP into the bargain.

Powell took on the unfamiliar right-back role and Gary stepped back into the centre of defence. Cooky and Coxy got the goals while there were joint Spoons for Rees and 'Scholesy'.


Humphries
Powell, Winters, G.Payne, Cook
Smedley, Hales, Rees, Cox
Watling, S.Payne
Subs: Merry for S.Payne, Garratt

Scorers: Cox (22), Cook (79)


MVP: Humphries
Spoons: Rees, S.Payne


Next match - 8 April v Highworth Plough

Worst. Result. Ever.

28 March 1999, Division 5 at Mannington (probably)

KMLC FC 2 v Coleview Community Centre 14

Yes, you read that right - fourteen! To put this in a little bit of context Coleview were one their way to winning the league, scoring 123 times in 22 games and finishing with a goal difference of +78.

End of context. Fourteen! What the Hell happened?

There was a debut here for Ausden who must have wondered what he was letting himself in for. He would go on to be a formidable strike partner for Watling who got both goals and MVP. Cooky got Spoons, it's hard to know how he could have been singled out as being the worst in this mess.

Now let's not talk about it again.


Powell
Winters, Adams, Gunning, Cook
G.Payne, Hales, S,Payne, Hobbs
Watling, Ausden
Sub: Cox for S.Payne

Goals: Watling (10,30)


MVP: Watling
Spoons: Cook


Next match - 4 April v Coleview Community Centre (again!)

Mallard thrash turkeys

21 March 1999, Division 5 at Mannington (more than likely)

KMLC FC 0 The Mallard Lyneham 8

After last week's narrow defeat it was quite the opposite this time round. The team conceded eight for the second time this season (Ghost Train ran up that number in September) and also failed to score for the second week running.

The side has a 'bare bones' look to it. Absences for Carpenter, Hobbs, Gould, Goldsworthy, G.Payne, Merry and Smedley saw Humphries in left midfield and Garratt as the only sub.

Humphries claimed MVP for his efforts while Rees took Spoons for the first time since December.


Powell
Winters, Adams, Gunning, Cook
S.Payne, Hales, Rees, Humphries
Watling, Cox
Sub: Garratt


MVP: Humphries
Spoons; Rees


Next match - 28 March v Coleview Community Centre

Power cut Kylies goal supply

14 March 1999, Division 5 at Mannington (I expect)

KMLC FC 0 NP Electric 1

Despite their patchy league form the Kylies had always managed to find the net this season except for their very first game, a Knockout Cup tie v Deer's Leap.

That run came to an end in this game against a team they'd comfortably put away in early December. There was an attacking look to the team too with the return of Hales to the middle of the park and Merry back in the starting line-up,

After two weeks of the MVP award going to his head it was the same Merry who won Spoons this time. Gunning took MVP which might suggest the defence had a lot of work to do.


Powell,
Hobbs, Goldsworthy, Cook, Gunning
G.Payne, Hales, Smedley, Merry
Watling, Cox
Subs: S.Payne for Hales, Winters for Goldsworthy


MVP: Gunning
Spoons: Merry


Next match - 21 March v The Mallard Lyneham

Magnetics repel Kylies

28 February 1999, Division 5 at Mannington (probably)

KMLC FC 2 BM Magnetics 6

BM Magnetics were the 're-badged' Workbase Resources who had won the reverse fixture 3-2 in November.

Big Al was in goal for that match, Humphries started this one in the sticks but the game finished with JP as 'keeper. Clearly neither of them could have a positive effect on the result.

Watty (from the spot) and Coxy got the goals, Merry made it two MVPs from the bench in two games while there was a rare Spoons for Hobbs (in his unfamiliar central defence position) for reasons lost in time.


Humphries
Winters, Goldsworthy, Gunning, Hobbs
G.Payne, Smedley, S.Payne, Rees
Watling, Cox
Subs: Merry for S.Payne, Powell for Humphries

Goals: Watling (32p), Cox (40)


MVP: Merry
Spoons: Hobbs


Next match - 14 March v NP Electric

Kylies are sitting ducks at Mallard

21 February 1999, Division 5 at Lyneham

The Mallard Lyneham 4 KMLC 1

After a decent run of four wins and a draw in eight games the Kylies suffered their biggest defeat since November. (They would get bigger.)

The defence particularly was weakened for this one with Gunning missing added to the long-term absences for Carpenter and Gould (was this the season he broke his foot in Cairos?)

After being out since last October Merry made an MVP return from the bench, Coxy got the goal and Humphries won Spoons which is never a good sign for a 'keeper.


Humphries
Adams, Goldsworthy, Cook, Hobbs
G.Payne, Smedley, S.Payne, Rees
Watling, Cox
Subs: Merry for S.Payne, Winters for Adams, Swatridge

Goal: Cox (43)


MVP: Merry
Spoons: Humphries


Next match - 28 February v BM Magnetics

Watty Double hits the North

14 February 1999, Division 5

North Swindon WMC 1 KMLC FC 2

Watty got both goals as the Kylies made it four wins in six matches. Watty shared MVP with Phil, Gary got Spoons.

It looks like another semi-makeshift line-up too. Coxy seemed to line-up at left-back while it was Brian's turn to make a rare appearance from the bench.

If there was any optimism in the camp after this run of results then the rest of the season would provide repeated slaps in the face.


Humphries
Adams, Cox, Cook, Hobbs
G.Payne, Smedley, S.Payne, Rees
Watling, James
Subs: Powell for James, Woolford for Adams

Goals: Watling (15, 57)


MVP: Watling, Hobbs
Spoons: G.Payne


Next match - 21 Feb v The Mallard, Lyneham

Unbeaten run hits buffers at Ghost Train

31 January 1999, Division Five at Purton (I think)

Ghost Train 3 KMLC FC 1

Maybe it was the five week break since the last game or maybe it was just the fact we were playing a decent team without a couple of first-choice players but the short unbeaten run came to an end.

The biggest contribution came from the defence this week, Gunning with the goal, Cook with the MVP. A very rare substitute appearance from Sharpy in this one too.

There's no record of Spoons so it's either lost or nobody deserved it. Let's say the latter!


Humphries
Winters, Adams, Cook, Gunning
Hobbs, G.Payne, S.Payne, Rees
Watling, Cox
Subs: Sharp for Winters, James for Cox, Goldsworthy

Goal: Gunning (20)


MVP: Cook


Next match - 14 February v North Swindon WMC

KMLC 25 - Stu's 1994 New Year Message

1994.

LET'S GET UP AND GET AT 'EM.

--- GGRRRR ---.

HOIST THE JOLLY ROGER.