THE ALEHOUSE are in action again, this time taking on the Mighty FORWARD INDUSTRIES. It's tough! They haven't come for a picnic!
After 90 minutes of hard fought rough and tumble THE ALEHOUSE emerged the victors by 5-0. The goal count fell on the shoulders of GOULD, MERRY, KIBBLE, B.WARR and the hapless OG.
During the game WOOLFORD managed to pull virtually every muscle in his body as well as some in others around him. On a couple of occasions he was seen to retreat to the sidelines to take up THE HORIZONTAL POSITION.
All the players performed well and this was to be reflected later on in the pub.
Once in the Public House we proceeded to vote for MVP and MR SPOONS. GUNNING made it 2 out of 2 with another outstanding display and not to be out done as in the previous week MERRY took the MR SPOONS award with style and conviction, deservedly so. On receiving the award MERRY contemplated hanging up his boots and we seriously contemplated hanging him by his neck.
Sunday, 29 July 2018
Sunday, 22 July 2018
KMLC25 - Famous Alehouse friendlies (part one)
Sunday 18th July saw the debut of THE FAMOUS ALEHOUSE XI. Dorcan was the setting and DOLPHIN COMPUTERS were the opposition.
Kitted out and ready to go, 10:30 AM. The whistle blows. Football erupts. It takes half an hour for THE ALEHOUSE to settle into their game plan. The Dorcan pitch serves up a rich mixture of indifferent bounce and speed managing to deceive even the well seasoned players GOULD and GUNNING. With 30 minutes elapsed touch and vision begins to ooze from THE ALEHOUSE.
"BIG KEV'S BALL" resonates through the air scattering nearby flocks of birds and nearby defenders. It's a revelation that spawns our first goal from a corner. The DOLPHINS break down in the first half and it's GUNNING's goal that separates the teams at the interval.
The interval comes to the rescue of certain members of THE ALEHOUSE, namely WOOLFORD, to catch his breath and MERRY, to hold his head in his hands and wonder why one of the most gifted players on the park is playing so woefully. The second half offers rectification.
The restart sees THE ALEHOUSE step on the gas and take controlof the game. Neat passing and tireless running combine to allow goals to come from the boots of UNWIN 2, KIBBLE GOULD and thankfully MERRY who responded well to his half-time misery. Added to GUNNING's headed goal of the first half THE ALEHOUSE ran out 6-0 victors. Arch rival and regular villain DAVE ROSE did well to keep a clean sheet and also provide entertainment whilst attempting to take goal kicks.
With the opposition well beaten, hands shaken and thanks exchanged everybody discussed the remarkable similarities between CARPO, GOULD and THE DOLPHINS captain, MORGAN. (Couldn't see it myself!)
Sandwiches, chips and beer round off a brilliant morning for THE FAMOUS ALEHOUSE, frequenting their eponymous local. Whilst consuming the eatables the game is discussed and a verdict is arrived upon as to the recipient of the MOST VALUABLE PLAYER award. [MVP]
GUNNING takes the accolades, deservedly so, due to his Presents! (I received a watch..... very nice).
GOULD then suggests we have a MR SPOONS award for the most calamitous moment of the game. As with the MVP award everybody votes by means of the infamous scraps of paper. MERRY disappears under the table so as to avoid the inevitable but is saved by the antics of GARRATT. PEEJ won by a mile with his quick step shimmy attempt at a goal line clearance, resulting in himself finishing in the net like a floundering fish, only to see the ball roll harmlessly wide without the aid of his gallant effort.
Kitted out and ready to go, 10:30 AM. The whistle blows. Football erupts. It takes half an hour for THE ALEHOUSE to settle into their game plan. The Dorcan pitch serves up a rich mixture of indifferent bounce and speed managing to deceive even the well seasoned players GOULD and GUNNING. With 30 minutes elapsed touch and vision begins to ooze from THE ALEHOUSE.
"BIG KEV'S BALL" resonates through the air scattering nearby flocks of birds and nearby defenders. It's a revelation that spawns our first goal from a corner. The DOLPHINS break down in the first half and it's GUNNING's goal that separates the teams at the interval.
The interval comes to the rescue of certain members of THE ALEHOUSE, namely WOOLFORD, to catch his breath and MERRY, to hold his head in his hands and wonder why one of the most gifted players on the park is playing so woefully. The second half offers rectification.
The restart sees THE ALEHOUSE step on the gas and take controlof the game. Neat passing and tireless running combine to allow goals to come from the boots of UNWIN 2, KIBBLE GOULD and thankfully MERRY who responded well to his half-time misery. Added to GUNNING's headed goal of the first half THE ALEHOUSE ran out 6-0 victors. Arch rival and regular villain DAVE ROSE did well to keep a clean sheet and also provide entertainment whilst attempting to take goal kicks.
With the opposition well beaten, hands shaken and thanks exchanged everybody discussed the remarkable similarities between CARPO, GOULD and THE DOLPHINS captain, MORGAN. (Couldn't see it myself!)
Sandwiches, chips and beer round off a brilliant morning for THE FAMOUS ALEHOUSE, frequenting their eponymous local. Whilst consuming the eatables the game is discussed and a verdict is arrived upon as to the recipient of the MOST VALUABLE PLAYER award. [MVP]
GUNNING takes the accolades, deservedly so, due to his Presents! (I received a watch..... very nice).
GOULD then suggests we have a MR SPOONS award for the most calamitous moment of the game. As with the MVP award everybody votes by means of the infamous scraps of paper. MERRY disappears under the table so as to avoid the inevitable but is saved by the antics of GARRATT. PEEJ won by a mile with his quick step shimmy attempt at a goal line clearance, resulting in himself finishing in the net like a floundering fish, only to see the ball roll harmlessly wide without the aid of his gallant effort.
Sunday, 15 July 2018
KMLC25 - The 1993 small-sided season (part three)
The season's curtain closer was a CHRISTMAS SPECIAL against our favourite team, MERRYS CROWD.
The game was played in high spirits and not even the torrential rain could halt the good humour. They were the worst conditions of the year.
At one stage the pitch was a flood and players had to turn from the rain. THE KYLIES ran out winners 12-6 by virtue of being more duck like.
During the hour, KIBBLE found himslef drained of energy having given blood only hours before, allowing himself only 1 goal, WOOLFORD fought bravely against the elements and conceded 6 while acting as stand-in goalie, M.WARR received a nasty blow in the BO****KS and then couldn't find a safe haven to rub them better, UNWIN ran like a demon and lashed in 5 goals, GOULD languished with an old CARPENTER ailment, BAD GUTS, but still managed to score 3 goals and CARPENTER reached the magical 50 goals in a season with 3 more spawny efforts. A good end to the season.
After an hour of messing about in the water THE KYLIES left the steel surrounds to reflect on another year.
The game was played in high spirits and not even the torrential rain could halt the good humour. They were the worst conditions of the year.
At one stage the pitch was a flood and players had to turn from the rain. THE KYLIES ran out winners 12-6 by virtue of being more duck like.
During the hour, KIBBLE found himslef drained of energy having given blood only hours before, allowing himself only 1 goal, WOOLFORD fought bravely against the elements and conceded 6 while acting as stand-in goalie, M.WARR received a nasty blow in the BO****KS and then couldn't find a safe haven to rub them better, UNWIN ran like a demon and lashed in 5 goals, GOULD languished with an old CARPENTER ailment, BAD GUTS, but still managed to score 3 goals and CARPENTER reached the magical 50 goals in a season with 3 more spawny efforts. A good end to the season.
After an hour of messing about in the water THE KYLIES left the steel surrounds to reflect on another year.
Sunday, 1 July 2018
KMLC25 - The 1993 small-sided season (part two)
October saw The Humbling of THE KYLIES.
The Oasis witnessed a 16-2 drubbing at the hands of G.K. STONES. It was quite possibly the lowest point of THE KYLIES history. We were steamrollered into defeat at the hands of a very good side. All of them play at a high level of football along with KYLES GOULD and GUNNING. They were too smart, too strong, too fast and too good for us. With heads bowed THE KYLIES retreated to the safe haven of the showers to hold head in hands and weep miserable.
The Oasis witnessed a 16-2 drubbing at the hands of G.K. STONES. It was quite possibly the lowest point of THE KYLIES history. We were steamrollered into defeat at the hands of a very good side. All of them play at a high level of football along with KYLES GOULD and GUNNING. They were too smart, too strong, too fast and too good for us. With heads bowed THE KYLIES retreated to the safe haven of the showers to hold head in hands and weep miserable.
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