Kylies pay the penalty

18 December 1994, Division 8 at Crowdy's Hill
Borough Press 5 KMLC FC 4 (HT 1-1)

The same opponents as the last match, the same number of goals scored but this was a disappointing defeat after late penalties at either end had a big bearing on this result.

Level at the break, the goals started to flow in the second half. I can't remember whether we went 5-2 or 5-3 down. The opponents' fifth goal came when Garratt hauled down a Borough Press striker in the muddy penalty area and although the 'keeper went the right way he couldn't keep out the spot-kick. (No surprise there!)

The Kylie fightback almost snatched a late point. A penalty was won as time ran out and Gunning, on a hat-trick) confidently stepped forward but the kick was saved and the final whistle blew. That was probably lucky for Howell who blazed the rebound high and wide. It seems unfortunate that Kibble picked up spoons for this one.


Garratt
Carpenter, Woolford, M.Warr, Gunning
Smedley, Merry, Howell, Shurmer
Swatridge, Kibble
Subs: Summers for Shurmer, Carter for Smedley

Scorers: Gunning 2, Smedley, Merry

MVP: M.Warr
Spoons: Kibble

This game rounded out the first half of the season. The Kylies record stood at won six, drawn two, lost four for a total of 14 points. An improvement was needed in the second half of the campaign if the season was going to end with some league silverware.

Next match - 8 January 1995 at Mannington v Akers Garage
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Ben at the double

4 December 1994, Division 8 at Mannington
KMLC FC 4 Borough Press 2 (HT 4-0)

A four goal first-half blitz set up the Kylies return to winning ways.

Ben bagged his first goals for the club and his first MVP in that opening 45 minutes and although Borough Press had the upper hand in the second period KMLC held on for a welcome win.

This game also saw a league debut for Carpo after his return from injury.


Garratt
Carpenter, Howell, Shurmer, Gunning
Smedley, Merry, B.Warr, Gratland
Swatridge, Kelly
Sub: M.Warr

Scorers: B.Warr 2, Gunning, Swatridge

MVP: B.Warr
Spoons: Kelly

Next match - 18 Dec v Borough Press at Crowdy's Hill

Sharp sees red against Eagles

27 November 1994, Division 8 at Lydiard Park
Stratton Red Eagles 3 KMLC FC 0 (HT 0-0)

A second straight defeat but this game is remembered for the first Kylie sending off.

Stratton Red Eagles were known as one of Swindon's leading youth teams of the time and the youngsters gave their seniors a bit of a run around.

I can't remember what the score was at the time but Mark 'Sharpy' Sharp was more frustrated than most and saw red for 'raising his hands' to one of his young opponents.

The greater numbers told in the second half and the Kylies slipped to defeat. It also turned out to be the last time 'Sharpy' would start a game for the club. In light of that sending off how did Neil win spoons?


Lunt
Summers, Woolford, M.Warr, Gunning
Smedley, Merry, Griffiths, Kelly
Sharp, Kibble
Subs: Gratland, Carter

MVP: Merry
Spoons: Summers

Next match - 4 Dec at Mannington v Borough Press

Ambulance halt unbeaten run

20 November 1994, Division 8 at Mannington
KMLC FC 3 Swindon Ambulance 5 (HT 1-1)

The Kylies' six-game unbeaten streak came to an end against Swindon Ambulance. The game was level at one goal each at the break but the Ambulance team proved the stronger in the second half.


Lunt
Summers, Woolford, M.Warr, Gunning
Smedley, Merry, Howell, Carter
Swatridge, Gratland
Sub: Sharp for Gratland

Scorers: Swatridge, Gunning, Smedley

MVP: Smedley
Spoons: Swatridge/M.Warr

Next match - 27 November at Lydiard v Stratton Red Eagles

Nothing unlucky about this thirteen

13 November 1994, Division 8 at Shrewsbury Road
Honda Logistics 1 KMLC FC 13 (HT 0-6)

The day it all came right. The Kylies romped to their biggest victory scoring at the rate of one every seven minutes (ish!) against a hapless Honda team.

Swatty led the way again with five goals this week to make it 15 in five matches while Kibble and Howell both opened their league accounts in the second half.

Random footnote - this was the first time the Kylies were penalised for a backpass. Peej fielded the ball following an excellent Ben tackle and was highly surprised to get pulled up for it. We were three up at the time, ref feeling sorry for an outclassed opponent perhaps.

This may have been the reason that the 'keeper picked up spoons this week or it could have been the goal where a not too strong hand took the ball away from Ian Merry guarding the post. (What was I supposed to do? Leave it?)


Garratt
B.Warr, Howell, Carter, Gunning
Smedley, Merry, Gould, Gratland
Swatridge, Kibble
Sub: Griffiths for Gratland

Scorers: Swatridge 5, Gould 2 (1 pen), Griffiths 2, Gunning, Howell, Kibble, Merry

MVP: Swatridge
Spoons: Garratt

Next match - 20 Nov at Mannington v Swindon Ambulance

Swatty hat-trick hits Honda

6 November 1994, Division 8 at Mannington
KMLC FC 5 v Honda Logistics 1 (HT 1-1)

Simon's striking form continued with a hat-trick to make it 10 goals in four games. Level at half-time his goals, plus strikes from Gould and Gunning, took the game away from Honda.

Big Al made his first start between the sticks in this one. Simon shared MVP with Neil Summers but won spoons in his own right. A hat-trick and spoons in the same game? Seems harsh.


Lunt
Summers, Howell, M.Warr, Gunning
Smedley, Merry, Gould, Carter
Swatridge, Kibble
Subs: Sharp for Kibble, Shurmer for Carter

Scorers: Swatridge 3, Gould, Gunning

MVP: Swatridge/Summers
Spoons: Swatridge

Next match - 13 November at Shrewsbury Road v Honda Logistics

Swatridge foursome swings game Kylies' way

30 October 1994, Division 8 at Mannington
KMLC FC 5 v Aldbourne SSC 2 (HT 0-1)

Two games after notching the first Kylie hat-trick Swatty became the first player to score four in a match.

One-nil down at the break the Swatridge goal rush and a first of the season from Merry turned the tables.

This game also saw the introduction of Alan 'Big Al' Lunt who became the second Kylie 'keeper when he replaced Garratt at the break.

Swatty unsurprisingly took MVP while Simon Haynes came off the bench, won spoons and never played again.

Garratt
Summers, Carter, M.Warr, Gunning
Gratland, Merry, Gould, Kelly
Swatridge, Kibble
Subs: Lunt for Garratt, Griffiths for Kelly, Haynes for Kibble

Scorers: Swatridge 4, Merry

MVP: Swatridge
Spoons: Haynes

Next match - 6 Nov at Mannington v Honda Logistics

Kylies bogged down

23 October 1994, Division 8 at Mannington

ISSC 0 v KMLC FC 0

A second successive clean sheet was the only positive thing to write home about where this game is concerned.

I think the conditions had a bearing on the game as one goalmouth in particular was borderline waterlogged if I remember rightly. Standing still (and I did a lot of that) meant slowly sinking in the Mannington mud.

Before the game the referee rolled the ball from the penalty spot towards the goal, watched it get stuck en route then decided that the game was on.

At least the result took the unbeaten league run to four matches.


Garratt
Summers, Woolford, M.Warr, Gunning
Gratland, Merry, Gould, Kelly
Swatridge, Sharp
Sub: Shurmer for Gratland

MVP: Gunning
Spoons: Summers

Next match - 30 Oct, at Mannington v Aldbourne SSC

The joy of six

16 October 1994, Division 8 at Mannington
KMLC FC 6 v Mannington 0 (HT 3-0)

Last week's narrow victory was followed up by a comprehensive Kylie win. Swatty bagged the first competitive hat-trick for the club which also kept a first clean sheet.

As well as the hat-trick hero's MVP winning performance there were first goals from Sharp, Smedley as well as a spot-kick from Gould.

[Dave?] Haynes came off the bench for his first, and also penultimate, appearance.

Garratt
Summers, Woolford, M.Warr, Gunning
Smedley, Merry, Gould, Gratland
Swatridge, Sharp
Subs: Haynes for Sharp, Kelly for Gratland

Scorers: Swatridge 3, Sharp, Smedley, Gould pen

Next match - 23 Oct at Mannington v ISSC

A result to Crow about

9 October 1994, Division 8 at Burderop Park
Halcrow Wilts 3 v KMLC FC 4 (HT 0-1)

KMLC's first trip away from Mannington finally brought them their first win.

This was a beautiful morning for football and the pitch was probably the best we played on. The 'billiard table' surface allowed the Kylies to play their slick passing game which had been their five-a-side hallmark.

The watching crowd (Mr. I. Rainbow) was hugely impressed by the high standard of the KMLC inter-passing and it was no surprise that they turned around a goal to the good. This situation should have given them the platform to go on and beat a team that only won twice the previous season but it didn't turn out that straightforward...

The second half saw some of the problems that had dogged their early matches almost come back to haunt them. Missed chances at one end and defensive frailties at the other meant that despite all their good work they trailed 3-2 inside the last ten minutes.

The pressure finally told as Gould netted an equaliser and shortly after Halcrow put through their own net to deliver the points to the away side. Any other result, as the watching crowd (Mr. I Rainbow) remarked, 'would have been a travesty'.


Garratt
B.Warr, Woolford, Summers, Gunning
Smedley, Merry, Gould, Howell
Swatridge, Sharp
Subs: Gratland for Merry

Goals: Gunning, Swatridge, Gould, og

MVP: Swatridge
Spoons: Merry

Next match - 16 Oct, at Mannington v Mannington

Defensive calamity hastens Chairman's exit

2 October 1994, Chairman's Trophy 1st Round at Mannington
KMLC FC 1 v The Globe 6 (HT 0-2)

The Globe were one of the top teams in Division One at the time and often challenged for the league title so the Kylies knew they were up against it as soon as the draw was made.

The team acquitted themselves well however and only trailed 2-0 at the break but this game will be remembered for an extraordinary own goal.

I can't remember what the match situation was at the time but a long ball out of the Globe half caused Garratt to charge out of his goal to clear. At the same time Carter was chasing back to do the same job. The two players arrived at the same time about 20 yards from goal.

It seemed that both players kicked the ball at the same time so whether it deflected from one Kylie on to another is somewhat of a mystery, but as they led in a heap on the Mannington turf they could only watch as the ball looped apologetically into their own net.

Carpo was making his first competitive start after breaking his toe at Derby but knacked knee ligaments in this one and was out until December.

There was also a debut for Smedley in this match and Gould's first Kylie goal came from the spot but both were somewhat overshadowed by the defensive, spoon-winning mix-up.


Garratt
Carpenter, Woolford, M.Warr, Gunning
Smedley, Merry, Gould, Carter
Swatridge, Sharp
Subs: Gratland for Carter, Kelly for Sharp

Goal: Gould (pen)

MVP: Gould
Spoons: Garratt/Carter


Next match - 9 Oct, Division 8 at Burderop Park v Halcrow Wilts

KMLC make their point

18 September 1994, Division 8 at Mannington
KMLC FC 2 v The Harrow 2 (HT 0-2)

A battling second half performance from the Kylies secured their first league point.

Two goals down at the break meant that the team had gone four halves of football without finding the net but that changed in the second period.

Goals from Gunning and Swatridge levelled the match and sent the home team back to the Mannington dressing rooms in good spirits ahead of their tough assignment in the Chairman's Trophy next week.


Garratt
B.Warr, Woolford, Summers, Gunning
Carter, Merry, Griffiths, Shurmer
Swatridge, Howell

Subs: Sharp for Howell, Kelly for Griffiths

MVP: Kelly
Spoons: Garratt/Summers

Next match - 2 Oct, Chairman's Trophy at Mannington v The Globe

Kylies fire blanks in league opener

11 September 1994, Division 8 at Mannington
KMLC FC 0 v AFC Purton 3 (HT 0-2)

The first league game for KMLC ended in disappointment with a 3-0 defeat to AFC Purton.

Young guns Howell and Kelly made their debuts (Howler picking up MVP) but nothing else sticks in the mind about this one.


Garratt
B.Warr, Howell, M.Warr, Gunning
Summers, Merry, Carter, Griffiths
Swatridge, Sharp

Subs: Kelly for Howell, Shurmer for Swatridge

MVP: Howell
Spoons: Gunning

Next match - 18 Sep, Div 8 at Mannington v The Harrow

Knockout Blow

4 September 1994, Knockout Cup at Mannington
KMLC FC 1 v Steam Train 7 (HT 1-2)

This was always going to be a tough introduction with the Steam Train a well-respected team that had won Division Two the previous season. Things were in the balance early on however with Gunning's goal meaning the Kylies were only one down at the break.

The second half was a different story with five more Steam Train goals. The fact that Garratt picked up the MVP award suggests that we fought a rearguard action for much of the game and I'm fairly certain that Gunning powered a diving header into his own net late on.

With that in mind what did Ben do to win spoons?

Garratt
B.Warr, Woolford, M.Warr, Gunning
Summers, Merry, Carter, Shurmer
Kibble, Sharp

Sub: Griffiths for Kibble

Scorer: Gunning
MVP: Garratt
Spoons: B. Warr

Next match - 11 Sep, Div 8 at Mannington v AFC Purton

1994 Pre-season Friendly roundup

The Kylies warmed up for their first season with a heavy programme of friendlies during the summer of 1994.

First up was a 3-2 win over South Cerney on 24 July. Woolford, Gould and Merry were the goalscorers. Merry and M.Warr were joint MVP with Shurmer taking the first spoon

A week later Forward Industries were brushed aside 10-0, five goals coming in each half. Swatridge and Kibble both netted hat-tricks, Sharp struck twice and Merry and Woolford added the others. Gunning and Swatridge were joint MVP this week with Merry the spoon winner.

The first defeat came on the 7th of August against Thames Water. A Swatridge goal saw us level at the break but the final score was 3-1 in favour of Thames. Merry was MVP this week with M.Warr earning the spoon.

The 13th of August saw a trip to Derby to play a Rolls Royce XI. Swatridge and Carpenter got the goals in a 2-1 victory. M.Warr redeeming himself to win MVP with Garratt claiming the first of many spoons. Carpo also broke a toe in this one ruling him out of the season's first three games.

After a week off, the 28th of August saw the famous 'watch the bounce' game against the Elm Tree at Chiseldon. Garratt misjudged a long clearance on the baked surface and watched it sail over his head into the goal with in a couple of minutes. There were no surprises with the Mr. Spoons vote that day. It didn't get better from there and finished in a 6-1 defeat. Sharp getting the KMLC consolation and winning MVP.

It was back to South Cerney for the final friendly two days later and it was another reverse, this time 2-0. Kibble had chances in the second half but they went begging and gave him the Spoons vote while Summers was MVP. Then we went to the pub where Summerslam was on, specifically 'the Undertaker versus the Undertaker' match!

The stage was set for the new season...

About KMLC FC

In the spring of 1990 seven friends joined forces to enter a team in a five-a-side tournament. The lure of a prize for the best name led them to be called Kylie Minogue's Love Children.

They didn't win the tournament (they didn't win a game!) or the best name prize but they kept playing. Over the next few years the five, six and seven-a-sides turned into the occasional 11-a-side and in 1994 the team (now abbreviated to KMLC FC and with the generous sponsorship of local accountancy firm Derrick Newman & Co.) entered the Swindon Sunday League.

This blog will centre on the competitive matches between 1994 and 2000 when the bulk of the original players had moved on due to work, family commitments or time catching up with them*.

The early focus will be on the match details but I hope to feature player profiles and records before I think about going back to the five-a-side years.

If you have any recollections you can add to the posts or separately I would be delighted to hear from you.

*The team lived on until the 2010s and finished with two Chairman's Cup runners-up trophies.